There’s plenty of guides on how to plan the perfect elopement so this will be my personal take on it, and for those unfamiliar, I’m Jay Soriano, an elopement photographer based in Maui, Hawaii, one of the most popular places to elope.
Elopements are all the rage these past few years for all the good reasons. A recent survey found that 91% of millennials, a huge segment of the wedding population, are considering an elopement versus holding a traditional wedding.
As to why the number is so high, I have a few guesses. Some couples just want more intimacy at their weddings. While others do it for all the logistical advantages of elopements over weddings. Then some people just want the sense of adventure or the romantic air of mystery that elopements allow, not to mention the level of hyper-personalization couples can enjoy with this type of ceremony. Don’t get me wrong, Hawaii still sees its fair share of $50k+ weddings, but according to recent stats on weddings, elopements and “micro weddings” and “minimonies” have skyrocketed in the past few years. In Hawaii, you can elope with photos for under $1000.
So whether you’ve always wanted a more adventurous take on traditional weddings, or a packed chapel just isn’t for you, here’s everything you need to know to plan the perfect elopement.
Elopement vs. Traditional Wedding… and Why Elope Anyway?
While we’ve glossed through some of the biggest reasons why couples get eloped instead of holding a traditional wedding, it’s still important to know the difference to help you determine if an elopement really is the ceremony for you.
Guest Count – The contrasts between elopements and weddings can be muddled depending on who you ask, but the guest count is the single biggest differentiator everyone can agree on. An elopement would have less than 10 guests (and often just the bride and groom), while a traditional wedding can go from 50 to 200+.
Here in Maui, more often than not, I just deal with the bride and groom (and sometimes a couple of ponies…). In Hawaii you don’t need a witness to elope, so check the specific rules in the state you’re planning to wed.
Planning Stress – There wouldn’t be 10 google pages worth of articles talking about managing “wedding planning stress” if it isn’t a real thing. While you’ll still have to roll up your sleeves and plan your elopement months ahead, it’s still an order of magnitude easier to do than a traditional wedding.
Eloping in Maui is relatively simple, I’d recommend starting with hiring the photographer that you resonate with the most. From there s/he should have tips on the specifics for eloping in your state. In Hawaii, you’ll have to apply for a marriage license, and then typically, one of the vendors will get the permit. You’ll have to find an officiant, or “wedding performer” as they’re referred to Hawaii. Some “elopement photographers”, like myself, are registered as an officiant as well, which allows you to save a little more money and time searching for another vendor.
Cost – The national average cost for weddings can is around $34,000, while elopements can be done under $1000 (not including flight + hotel). You’ll also have more freedom to move money around and prioritize things that are more important to you in an elopement. For example, you can use a chunk of your budget on a two-day stay at a luxury resort versus having to set aside the same amount of money for the florist and wedding planning fees.
At the time of writing, I currently charge $1000 for an elopement session in Maui, which includes officiant services. In addition, you’ll have to apply for a marriage license, which is $65 in the State of Hawaii. And then of course flights, hotels and maybe a rental car. And the beauty of an elopement – you can combine your wedding and honeymoon to save even more money!
Now of course, you take your elopement to the next level by adding some fun elements such as this elegant bounce house…
Personalization – Now this is an area where elopement has a clear advantage. You can only personalize a traditional wedding up to a point — there are virtually no limits when we’re talking elopements.
An elopement ceremony doesn’t follow the traditional wedding format. Some elopements start before the break of dawn and culminate atop a cliff with a sweeping vista of the sea after an hour of hiking.
And for most people considering eloping, the choice between having a quiet traditional wedding in their hometown or getting eloped nearby volcano, deep in the jungle or on one of the beautiful beaches in Hawaii is an easy one to make.
Couples go for this type of ceremony because they want their special day to reflect their identities.
A lot of couples will have a fonder time looking back at their amazing wedding photos taken that time they got eloped in Hawaii rather than doing it “old-school,” because nobody in history ever went “Remember that vaguely themed 3-tier wedding cake we had? That was awesome.”
So if the above points sound right to you, then you’ve probably made the right choice by deciding to elope. Now on to the actual planning…
Paint a Picture of Your Perfect Elopement Ceremony
To help you with your elopement planning process, ask yourself these three questions:
- What makes the both of you happy?
- Is there something new the both of you want to experience?
- What are the “non-negotiables?”
Envisioning a perfect elopement ceremony might take you some time so get comfortable. You and your intended should probably discuss this over a pot of coffee and some snacks.
Think back to your favorite activities and find a common ground.
What are non-negotiables – do you feel strongly about having a mobile coffee bar on your wedding day? What’s the dress code like? Should everyone wear trail running shoes under their tuxes and dresses because there’s no way the both of you are tying the knot below sea level?
List down everything you would want to do in your ceremony, then narrow it down to a set of ideas that both of you can be happy with.
Decide on a Location
Picking a location shouldn’t induce hair-pulling stress levels if you’ve done your homework and spent some time planning together. And of course I might be a little biased being a photographer here in Hawaii – but if that doesn’t match your vibe than their might be a better option for you!
What type of scenery or weather are you seeing when you close your eyes and imagine the big day? Are you seeing a lot of sun and wildlife? A safari elopement in Kenya might be the play.
Are you both hardcore mountain bikers? You might want to consider a destination elopement at Whistler Bike Park.
Or maybe you don’t want to do anything crazy and just want to be as far as you can from the daily grind of your and your intended’s life in New York? Maybe a weekend excursion in Hawaii to cap off your elopement could be it.
Make Your Guest List
Who should be there? Besides the officiant and witnesses (if you need them)? You probably don’t want your extended family to be there as elopements are typically very intimate affairs.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t involve your friends and relatives – you can always set up a little “Zoom broadcast” area with a laptop, a mobile internet hotspot, and a nice stand!
Iron out the Paperwork
This is one of the most common areas couples overlook when planning an elopement. Before contacting vendors or looking at photographers, study up on the legalities of marriage contracts in your chosen location.
Some states allow you to self-solemnize, which means you can pick up a marriage license and sign it yourselves without the need for an officiant or even a witness! Of course, other states wouldn’t be as lax – so definitely read up on what you need to prepare to be lawfully married. Make sure you make the special day actually count!
Set a Date
Setting a date for your elopement wedding day isn’t as easy as picking out the most convenient weekend for you and your intended.
Be smart about this or it can potentially make or break your special day. You might want to avoid the rainiest months in your chosen location. Landing on a weekday might also be a good idea if your chosen location is getting a lot of attention.
Build a Timeline
How’s the ceremony going to proceed and what activities do you have in store for your special day?
Would you be brewing your pot of coffee at the foot of the mountain at first light with your intended? Want to end the day with a box of cupcakes in a nice picnic by the beach? Are you going for a surf right after you’ve said your I dos?
Outline everything to the letter so there’d be no surprises. Figure out how much time your stylist’s going to need or how many hours will you spend hiking up to the location. Having a timeline of your elopement will also immensely help your photographer plan out their approach for whatever you have plotted out for the big day.
I recommend checking out this guide on creating an elopement timeline to help you get started.
Hire the Right Elopement Photographer
Make no mistake. The job of an elopement photographer does not start and end with them showing up to your wedding with a camera.
You can start with our post on 10 Tips for Hiring a Photographer, but honestly a professional elopement photographer almost doubles as your elopement planner in more ways than one. They know the area inside and out of the area and will come into your meetings with a list of options for locations prepared.
They’ll often understand the intricacies of getting married in that area, how to obtain the marriage license, acquiring the location permits, vendor recommendations and more. In Hawaii, I’ve seen too many wedding shoot without a permit (which risk getting shut down), or just on one of the busier beaches, and so on.
These specialized photographers have done all the scouting for you and will have backups if anything should go wrong. Your elopement photographer can also guide you in creating a sensible timeline for the big day, recommend vendors (such as decorative rentals, officiants, caterers etc.), the law of the land (for your marriage paperwork) to minute logistics such as picking the best airports.
A good elopement photographer will start their work months before your big day, meeting with you to flesh out the details and putting together the perfect elopement day with you.
Hiring the right elopement photographer is perhaps the most crucial part of the planning process because the right pro will help make everything in your planning checklist into reality.
